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Josh's Adoption Story

Cassius’ mother, Alyssa, and I met while she was on a year-abroad program, studying at Newcastle University, England, where I was also a student at the time.

In 2017, Alyssa and I found out that she was almost seven months pregnant. Our son Cassius was very small, and we had no idea he was with us until that point. All of a sudden, we were faced with the seemingly impossible task of deciding what to do moving forward.

We eventually decided to have Cassius adopted on an open adoption basis, as we couldn’t bear the thought of not being a part of his life — while equally feeling totally unprepared and unable to give him the life he deserved.

On Oct. 21, our son — Cassius Mikel John — was born a happy, healthy little boy. Shortly afterwards, an adoptive couple that we still have regular contact with adopted him. They had already adopted a little girl through American Adoptions and, because Alyssa and I both come from big families, we hugely valued the importance of Cassius growing up with siblings. The adoptive father is also a Newcastle United — the soccer team from Newcastle that I have supported since I was a child — fan. Of course, it’s also the sports team from the city where Alyssa and I met and fell in love.

Alyssa and I felt so privileged to have such amazing support from American Adoptions. We couldn’t believe how fortunate we were to make the choices of who would adopt Cassius, what sort of contact we might have, and how regularly we might have contact. To have that kind of control over the situation made all the difference for us.

Part of the agreement was that Alyssa and I — and, later, any family who wanted to join us — would visit Cassius and his new family every two years. We’re due to go and see them in October of this year.

I want to build a life where I am always accessible for Cassius. He deserves to grow up knowing who his biological father really is and that I’m there for him if he wants or needs me. I believe just knowing his mother and I are there for him in body, mind and spirit will be of endless value to Cassius growing up. More than that, I want him to know his parents made the decision we did not because we didn’t want him, but because we wanted to be the very best versions of ourselves for him. That we wanted him to possible grow up to be proud of his biological parents and their achievements.

Everything that has happened has led me to here, and I wouldn’t change any of it.

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Frequently Asked Questions

Why is American Adoptions the right adoption agency choice for many birth mothers?

American Adoptions is one of the largest licensed adoption agencies in the United States. Each year, we work with thousands of women who are facing an unplanned pregnancy and offer assistance to these women. Our large, caring staff is able to assist you seven days a week and provide you with one-on-one counseling about your pregnancy and available options.

You should choose an adoption agency where you feel completely comfortable with their services and staff. With American Adoptions, you will work with an Adoption Specialist who is on-call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The Adoption Specialist will be your advocate and will provide support and guidance as you create an adoption plan that is right for you.

How will the family tell my child about me and the adoption when my child is older?

Each family has their own style of introducing adoption to the child. When you are matched with an adoptive family, you can ask them this question. If you would like your Adoption Specialist to discuss it for you, just let her know. He or she can share your wishes or provide good ideas from other adoptive families.

You will also be able to share what you want your baby to know about you. You can complete a keepsake booklet to share hobbies, stories, photos of you and your family and a letter to your baby. The adoptive family can provide this to your child as he or she grows older. Be as creative as you like! Some birth mothers have even knitted a special blanket as a gift to their baby or given a similar symbol of their love.

The father of your baby can fill out the birth father's keepsake booklet or write a letter too. You may have other family members who would also like to share photos or a letter to the baby. This is your opportunity to pass on your and your family's love and to share your personality, history and reasons for choosing adoption. The adoptive family will treasure whatever information you provide and will share it with the baby at an appropriate age. In most adoptive homes, the word adoption is in the child's vocabulary early on, and adoption is celebrated in their lives.

Additional Resources

Teen Pregnancy - Information for Young Women

While not every woman who chooses adoption is a young mother, many are. Through adoption, many young women have found an ability to give their babies the best life possible, while finding the opportunity to realize their own dreams, as well. Call American Adoptions today at 1-800-ADOPTION.

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Adoption Glossary

Do adoption terms and phrases leave you feeling confused? Learn the meaning to key adoption words and phrases with our comprehensive adoption glossary.

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