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“What does adoption mean to a child?”

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24 Reasons for Choosing Adoption Over Abortion

What Women Should Consider as They Make This Choice

When you’re facing an unplanned pregnancy, what to do next can be an almost impossible decision to make. If you know that you can’t raise a child at this point in your life, you’re probably left wondering, “Is it better to give my baby up for adoption than to get an abortion? Or is abortion a better decision for me?”

Ultimately, you are the only one who can make the best choice for you and your baby. No one else can tell you why you should put your baby up for adoption instead of abortion or vice versa, and no one should pressure you into putting a child up for adoption instead of abortion if that’s not what you want to do. Similarly, it is not up to any professional, your friends or family members, or even the baby’s father to force you into choosing abortion over adoption. This is a choice that only you can make.

At American Adoptions, our specialists can talk to you about all your options — not just adoption. We are not here to talk you into choosing adoption rather than abortion if that’s not what you want to do. We don’t believe adoption is “better than” abortion for every woman. But we are here to answer any questions you have about why putting a baby up for adoption is better than abortion for some women who choose this path.

If choosing adoption over abortion seems like the right answer for you, know that there are many resources available to you for a successful adoption process. Whether you’re sure you want to pursue adoption or you’re still considering why to choose adoption over abortion, our adoption specialists can help. American Adoptions professionals are always available to discuss your situation for free and with absolutely no obligation for you to choose adoption. Please don’t hesitate to call us today with your questions at 1-800-ADOPTION.

If you’re still considering these two unplanned pregnancy options, you may wonder, “Why is giving a baby up for adoption better than abortion? Should I choose adoption instead of abortion for my baby?” While it is up to every woman to decide which option is best in her circumstances, many birth mothers cite some common reasons for adoption instead of abortion. Our adoption specialists can always discuss the facts about adoption instead of abortion in detail, but we’ve also listed some of them here for you. Here are some of the most common reasons you might consider adoption instead of abortion:

1. You want to give your child a chance at a happy life.

This is perhaps one of the most common reasons for adoption instead of abortion. Unlike abortion, adoption gives a pregnant woman’s child the chance to grow up with a loving, supportive family and have all of the opportunities she wants them to have.

2. You want to fulfill someone else’s dream of becoming a parent.

When a woman is considering her unplanned pregnancy options, it’s common to think of adoption in terms of “giving up.” In fact, many women ask, “Is giving a child up for adoption better than having an abortion?” or “Why should I give my baby up for adoption instead of abortion?”

But when you “give up” for adoption rather than abortion, you’re not “giving up” anything at all. Instead, you are giving a gift — one that will forever change the lives of another family.

That’s a big reason why “giving up” a baby for adoption is better than abortion for many women; when a woman knows that she can’t parent her own child, she may choose adoption rather than abortion to give that priceless gift to someone who desperately dreams of becoming a parent. There are many hopeful parents waiting for a prospective birth mother to choose them, and you can view some of them here. As difficult a decision as it may be, you may choose to change someone’s life forever by letting them raise your baby.

3. You want to feel like you’ve done the right thing.

While there is no “right” decision when it comes to your unplanned pregnancy, some women believe that making the sacrifice to carry their baby to term and place them with another family will provide them a sense of purpose during this confusing time in their life. For some women, adoption is a way to feel positive about their unplanned pregnancy, giving them a sense of fulfillment and pride.

Remember, however, the only “right” unplanned pregnancy option is the one that is right for you. Adoption is “better” than abortion only if you think you will feel better about this choice than you would about abortion.

4. You worry that you will regret an abortion decision.

Generally, if you have reservations about choosing abortion, it may not be the right choice for you. It’s understandable to need time before you can make this momentous decision, but if you think you may eventually regret choosing abortion over adoption, that may be a big enough reason for you to decide on putting a child up for adoption instead of abortion.

5. You have religious beliefs against abortion.

If she has strong religious values, those could be a reason why a mother should “give a baby up” for adoption instead of abortion. If you don’t believe that abortion is morally or ethically allowable, you’ll probably want to choose adoption for your child instead. American Adoptions respects however you come to the decision of adoption, and we’ll support you throughout this emotionally difficult process, whatever your religious beliefs.

6. Adoption gives answers to a birth mother’s “what ifs.”

When a pregnant woman chooses abortion, even if she doesn’t regret her decision, she may have questions years later about who her child may have grown up to be, what they would have looked like and more. She can have the answers to those questions with open adoption, through which she can see her child grow up and know who they end up being. One of the greatest advantages of adoption over abortion is the chance to know your child and watch him or her grow up.

7. Adoption costs nothing to prospective birth mothers.

Another reason that pregnant women consider adoption instead of abortion is because it’s the unplanned pregnancy option that’s completely free. Abortion, on the other hand, can cost hundreds of dollars, especially if you don’t have insurance or want to pay out-of-pocket to keep the procedure off your insurance records. For many pregnant women, paying that much money is not feasible — and they turn to adoption instead.

8. Prospective birth mothers can get financial help during their pregnancy and adoption process.

There are often other financial benefits of adoption over abortion, as well. For women who have fallen on hard financial times during their pregnancy, adoption not only saves them from having to pay money for an abortion, but it can also provide them additional financial assistance during the time they are pregnant. By putting a child up for adoption instead of abortion, you may receive living expenses for things like rent, groceries, gas and more.

9. Women who place their children for adoption may receive a scholarship from American Adoptions.

American Adoptions offers an uncommon advantage for prospective birth mothers who work with us — a birth mother scholarship. These are grants of money to help birth mothers continue with their education, which may have been put on hold during their pregnancies. Since the scholarship program was started in 2001, numerous American Adoptions birth parents have attended higher education with scholarship funds.

10. You can choose adoption at any point in your pregnancy, even after abortion is no longer an option.

Deciding which unplanned pregnancy option is best for you and your baby can be a difficult decision to make, so you don’t want to rush into one before you’re sure it’s right for you. The timeliness of an abortion can make you feel pressured to make a decision before you’re ready. But an adoption, on the other hand, can be a decision you make at any time in your pregnancy. If you think you need more time to decide whether to parent your child, you might want to consider adoption, as you can place your baby for adoption even after they’re born.

11. You can have continued contact with your baby through open adoption.

It may reassure you to know that when you choose to place your child for adoption, you will be able to see them grow up happy and healthy — and even be able to have a relationship with them. As mentioned before, choosing abortion instead of adoption may lead to “what ifs,” but adoption can answer those questions. Many birth mothers have a special relationship with their baby’s adoptive parents and their baby, and it’s immensely helpful for the emotional healing process after adoption. For many women, this is one of the greatest emotional benefits of adoption over abortion.

12. Abortion is permanent and final; adoption does not become permanent until signing the legal documents after baby’s birth, so there is time to consider options.

One of the reasons why women choose abortion instead of adoption is because they simply know more about abortion than adoption. Unfortunately, abortion is a decision that must be made rather early in the pregnancy, so it’s not uncommon for women to choose this option with minimal research as a way to quickly “get rid” of their unplanned pregnancy. However, when this happens, women aren’t educated about the other options available to them, and they may not have time to consider the facts about adoption instead of abortion. When you decide on adoption, you will always have the chance to change your mind throughout the process, up until you sign your legal consent after your baby’s birth. If you change your mind, that’s always okay — but abortion does not offer this option.

13. Women who have already experienced an abortion may not want to repeat the process.

Sometimes, women who have had a previous abortion don’t wish to repeat the experience they had — whether it’s for health or psychological reasons. If they don’t wish to have another abortion but don’t wish to parent their child, they may choose adoption instead.

14. Abortion comes with medical risks that the adoption process does not.

Like any medical procedure, abortion does come with slight medical risks. Some women may choose to avoid those risks and instead carry their child to term, However, it’s important to know that childbirth also comes with its own risks. It will be up to individual women to decide which process’ risks are more dangerous to them.

15. Adoption allows mothers to meet, hold and get to know their babies.

You may already feel an emotional connection to your baby, and adoption vs. abortion can be a wrenching decision to make. If you want to make your decision based on how you feel, think about this: When you place your child for adoption, you can meet the baby you give birth to, spend as much time as you’d like in the hospital with them and get to know who they are in anticipation of who they will become. Abortion doesn’t give you that option.

16. Adoption can be kept confidential if a woman does not want certain people in her life to know.

If the reason you’re thinking about choosing abortion over adoption is because you don’t want people to know about your unplanned pregnancy, it’s important to know that you can certainly have a secret adoption. If necessary, our adoption specialists can help provide the resources needed to help you keep your adoption confidential. Whatever your preferences are for informing others of your pregnancy, our specialists can help.

17. Adoption is still possible if you have a complicated relationship with your baby’s father.

It’s not uncommon for pregnant women to choose abortion because they’re concerned about the possibility of placing their child for adoption with an unsupportive birth father. However, adoption may still be a possibility in this case. We encourage you to call an adoption specialist at 1-800-ADOPTION to discuss your individual situation and options in more detail.

18. If you’re under 18, you may be able to place a child for adoption without parental consent — unlike completing an abortion.

In many states, abortion laws require that women under the age of 18 must have parental consent before they can undergo an abortion procedure. For those wanting to keep their pregnancy a secret from their parents, this can be a requirement they can’t meet. On the other hand, when you give birth to your baby, you can usually place them for adoption without your parents’ consent, even if they want you to keep and parent their grandchild. State laws do vary, so talk to an adoption specialist to learn more about your rights as a teenage birth mother.

19. Adoption allows you to experience pregnancy.

When you choose adoption, you will experience all the highs and lows of pregnancy. For some women, this is an experience they desire to have, especially if they have concerns about their ability to get pregnant again after this pregnancy. Abortion prevents them from having this experience, which many women describe as life-changing.

20. When you inquire about adoption, you get accurate, objective information.

Unfortunately, when you pursue abortion first, the abortion clinics that you contact may not provide objective and factual information. Because abortion is such a controversial topic, some professionals and even state legislatures have made it so pregnant women are given certain information before completing the abortion — and not all of this information is factual or unbiased. However, when you contact an adoption professional like American Adoptions, we will provide objective information so you can make an educated decision about what’s best for you. We’re not here to convince you why putting a baby up for adoption is “better” than abortion — we are here to give you the information and support you need to make a decision you feel good about.

21. Choosing adoption gives you 24/7 support through your emotional journey.

Both adoption and abortion are emotional processes, but only adoption can give you the access to trained counselors 24 hours a day. Adoption agencies like American Adoptions will make sure you receive the counseling you need as you decide whether adoption is right for you, during the adoption process and even after the adoption is complete — completely for free. You can access this professional counseling 24/7 by calling 1-800-ADOPTION. When you choose abortion, however, you will not have the same amount of quality counseling available to you.

22. You are in charge of the adoption process every step of the way.

Choosing adoption over abortion may give you a greater sense of control over your situation. When you choose to place your child for adoption, you will always be the one with the final say when it comes to different aspects of your adoption process. This includes choosing an adoptive family for your baby, deciding what kind of contact you want with them, determining what your hospital stay will be like and more. Abortion, however, has strict rules and regulations based on state laws; you may need to wait a certain amount of time before you can complete the procedure or be made to listen to certain “advice” and information made to change your mind before you can continue. Many prospective birth mothers enjoy the freedom of choice that adoption offers, rather than the strict requirements of completing an abortion.

23. You can complete the adoption process from anywhere.

As a national adoption agency, American Adoptions works with expectant mothers from all across the country. Whether you live in a big city, a small town or the middle of the countryside, you can reach your adoption specialist whenever you need her and complete the adoption process whenever you’re ready. Aside from your hospital stay and any in-person meetings you schedule with adoption service providers or the adoptive family you choose, most of the adoption process can be completed from your home (or wherever you’re most comfortable). The same isn’t always true for abortion clinics. Women in rural or remote areas don’t always have easy access to safe and legal abortion services. Many states have only one or two abortion clinics, which means many women have to travel several hours to access abortion services. Depending on state laws, these women may even have to make more than one trip to meet counseling and wait time requirements.

24. You can start the adoption process right away.

No matter where you are in your pregnancy, if you contact American Adoptions, an adoption specialist will help you start the process as soon as you are ready. They will take your information, start sending you adoptive family profiles and help you move forward with the process as soon as possible (you always have the chance to change your mind about your decision). However, abortion can be a longer process with more requirements; certain state laws require you to receive education and/or an ultrasound and even wait days before you can complete the procedure.

We know that making a decision for your unplanned pregnancy can be difficult, which is why we are happy to offer you the objective, no-obligation information to help you make the right decision for you. Your reasons for adoption instead of abortion (or vice versa) will be determined by your own situation. Whatever decision you make, we can provide you the resources you need to be successful.

To talk to one of our adoption specialists today for free, please call us anytime at 1-800-ADOPTION.

Information available through these links is the sole property of the companies and organizations listed therein. America Adoptions, Inc. provides this information as a courtesy and is in no way responsible for its content or accuracy.

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Frequently Asked Questions

Why is American Adoptions the right adoption agency choice for many birth mothers?

American Adoptions is one of the largest licensed adoption agencies in the United States. Each year, we work with thousands of women who are facing an unplanned pregnancy and offer assistance to these women. Our large, caring staff is able to assist you seven days a week and provide you with one-on-one counseling about your pregnancy and available options.

You should choose an adoption agency where you feel completely comfortable with their services and staff. With American Adoptions, you will work with an Adoption Specialist who is on-call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The Adoption Specialist will be your advocate and will provide support and guidance as you create an adoption plan that is right for you.

How will the family tell my child about me and the adoption when my child is older?

Each family has their own style of introducing adoption to the child. When you are matched with an adoptive family, you can ask them this question. If you would like your Adoption Specialist to discuss it for you, just let her know. He or she can share your wishes or provide good ideas from other adoptive families.

You will also be able to share what you want your baby to know about you. You can complete a keepsake booklet to share hobbies, stories, photos of you and your family and a letter to your baby. The adoptive family can provide this to your child as he or she grows older. Be as creative as you like! Some birth mothers have even knitted a special blanket as a gift to their baby or given a similar symbol of their love.

The father of your baby can fill out the birth father's keepsake booklet or write a letter too. You may have other family members who would also like to share photos or a letter to the baby. This is your opportunity to pass on your and your family's love and to share your personality, history and reasons for choosing adoption. The adoptive family will treasure whatever information you provide and will share it with the baby at an appropriate age. In most adoptive homes, the word adoption is in the child's vocabulary early on, and adoption is celebrated in their lives.

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