24 Reasons for Choosing Adoption over Abortion [How Adoption Changes Lives]
What to Consider When Comparing Adoption and Abortion
If you know that you can’t raise a child at this point in your life, you’re probably left wondering whether abortion or adoption is right for your unplanned pregnancy.
- Only you can decide which unplanned pregnancy option is right for you.
- Adoption creates a better future for everyone involved, and through open adoption, you can maintain a life-long connection with your child.
- Abortion takes away the chance to watch your child grow.
If you’re considering these two unplanned pregnancy options, you may wonder, “Why is giving a baby up for adoption better than abortion? Should I choose adoption instead of abortion for my baby?”
Ultimately, you are the only one who can make the best choice for you and your baby. No one else can tell you why you should put your baby up for adoption instead of abortion or vice versa, and no one should pressure you into putting a child up for adoption instead of abortion if that’s not what you want to do.
If choosing adoption over abortion seems like the right answer for you, American Adoptions will support you and be by your side every step of the way. Whether you’re sure you want to pursue adoption or you’re still considering why to choose adoption over abortion, our adoption specialists can help.
At American Adoptions, our professional staff includes adoptees, adoptive parents and birth parents. We have unique first-hand experience with adoption that translates to providing you with the best possible experience and ensuring that your adoption journey is safe and smooth.
By calling 1-800-ADOPTION or filling out our online form, you’ll get connected with an adoption specialist that can give you more information on adoption, as well as how to get started on the adoption process today.
While it is up to every woman to decide which option is best in her circumstances, many birth mothers cite some common reasons for adoption instead of abortion. Our adoption specialists can always discuss the facts about adoption instead of abortion in detail, but we’ve also listed some of them here for you.
Here are some of the most common reasons you might consider adoption instead of abortion:
1. You want to give your child a chance at a happy life.
This is perhaps one of the most common reasons for adoption instead of abortion. Unlike abortion, adoption gives your child the chance to grow up with a loving, supportive family and have all of the opportunities you want them to have. Birth mothers like Candice have seen this benefit of adoption firsthand:
“I became pregnant at the worst possible time of my life,” she said. “My husband and I were separated. He wanted me to have an abortion, and I couldn’t bring myself to do that. I talked with him about adoption and he agreed.
“Once I saw Jeff and Amanda’s profile, I felt like God was telling me they were the ones! Jeff and Amanda are wonderful, and I am so thankful I could give them such a gift. We still email and I get pictures. Our little boy is so handsome. They are amazing parents, and I know my son has a huge family who loves and cares so much for him. I am forever thankful for that. Jeff and Amanda saved my baby’s life!”
2. You want to fulfill someone else’s dream of becoming a parent.
When considering your unplanned pregnancy options, it’s common to think of adoption in terms of “giving up.” You might be asking, “Is giving a child up for adoption better than having an abortion?” or “Why should I give my baby up for adoption instead of abortion?”
But when you “give up” for adoption rather than abortion, you’re not “giving up” anything at all. Instead, you are giving a gift — one that will forever change the lives of another family.
“We are extremely grateful,” adoptive mom Amy said. “And I hope she knows that. We try to tell her, but I don’t think you really know it until you’re on the receiving end of it. We love you. We appreciate you. We’ll tell you again and again. Thank you.” Because of a birth mother’s brave decision, Amy and her husband, Tony, were given the gift of a family. You can watch their story here.
That’s a big reason why “giving up” a baby for adoption is better than abortion for many women; when you’ve determined you can’t parent a child, you may choose adoption rather than abortion to give that priceless gift to someone who desperately dreams of becoming a parent. Many hopeful parents are waiting for you to choose them, and you can view some of them here. As difficult a decision as it may be, you may choose to change someone’s life forever by letting them raise your baby.
3. You want to feel like you’ve done the right thing.
Some women believe that making the sacrifice to carry their baby to term and place them with another family will provide them a sense of purpose during this confusing time in their life. For some women, adoption is a way to feel positive about their unplanned pregnancy, giving them a sense of fulfillment and pride.
Remember, however, the only “right” unplanned pregnancy option is the one that is right for you. Adoption is “better” than abortion only if you think you will feel better about this choice than you would about abortion.
4. You worry that you will regret an abortion decision.
Generally, if you have reservations about choosing abortion, it may not be the right choice for you. It’s understandable to need time before you can make this momentous decision, but if you think you may eventually regret choosing abortion over adoption, that may be a big enough reason for you to decide on putting a child up for adoption instead of abortion.
5. You have religious beliefs against abortion.
If you have strong religious values, those could be a reason why you choose to “give a baby up” for adoption instead of abortion. If you don’t believe that abortion is morally or ethically allowable, you’ll probably want to choose adoption for your child instead. That was the case for Mary, a birth mother who chose to place her daughter for adoption.
“Because of my religious beliefs and morals, abortion was not an option,” she said. “I wasn't exactly sure what I was going to do at first; just like it was not my fault and under my control that I got pregnant, it was not the child's that I had growing inside of me either. All I knew was that she deserved a chance at a fulfilling life, and despite the circumstance and all it would cost me, I wanted to give her that chance.”
American Adoptions respects however you decide on adoption, and we’ll support you throughout this emotionally difficult process, whatever your religious beliefs.
6. Adoption gives answers to a birth mother’s “what ifs.”
When choosing abortion, you may not regret your decision, but you might forever wonder what life your child may have had should you have chosen adoption. You can have the answers to those questions with open adoption, through which you can see your child grow up and know who they end up being. One of the greatest advantages of adoption over abortion is the chance to know your child and watch him or her grow up.
7. Adoption costs nothing to prospective birth mothers.
Another reason that pregnant women consider adoption instead of abortion is because it’s the unplanned pregnancy option that’s completely free. Abortion, on the other hand, can cost hundreds of dollars, especially if you don’t have insurance or want to pay out-of-pocket to keep the procedure off your insurance records. For many pregnant women, paying that much money is not feasible — and they turn to adoption instead.
8. Prospective birth mothers can get financial help during their pregnancy and adoption process.
There are often other financial benefits of adoption over abortion, as well. For women who have fallen on hard financial times during their pregnancy, adoption not only saves them from having to pay money for an abortion but can also provide them additional financial assistance during the time they are pregnant.
By putting a child up for adoption instead of abortion, you may receive living expenses for things like rent, groceries, gas and more.
9. Women who place their children for adoption may receive a scholarship from American Adoptions.
American Adoptions offers an uncommon advantage for prospective birth mothers who work with us — a birth mother scholarship. These are grants of money to help birth mothers continue with their education, which may have been put on hold during their pregnancies. Since the scholarship program was started in 2001, numerous American Adoptions birth parents have attended higher education with scholarship funds.
Julia is one of the many birth mothers who has benefitted from American Adoptions’ scholarship. She used the scholarship to finish her bachelor’s degree at the private college she attended during her pregnancy and adoption process, then went on to join a Master of Public Administration program. She plans to use her degree to work in higher education.
“I knew my life did not stop after adoption,” she said. “It gave me a second chance to pursue my goals and dreams so that I can be a better version of myself and help people along the way. I wanted to show my daughter that I didn’t give up on myself and, more importantly, her.”
You can read more of Julia’s story here.
10. You can choose adoption at any point in your pregnancy, even after abortion is no longer an option.
Deciding which unplanned pregnancy option is best for you and your baby can be a difficult decision to make, so you don’t want to rush into one before you’re sure it’s right for you. The timeliness of abortion can make you feel pressured to decide before you’re ready. But adoption, on the other hand, can be a decision you make at any time in your pregnancy. If you think you need more time to decide whether to parent your child, you might want to consider adoption, as you can place your baby for adoption even after they’re born.
11. You can have an amazing relationship with your baby through open adoption.
It may reassure you to know that when you choose to place your child for adoption, you will be able to see them grow up happy and healthy — and even be able to have a relationship with them.
As mentioned before, choosing abortion instead of adoption may lead to “what ifs,” but adoption can answer those questions. Many birth mothers have a special relationship with their baby’s adoptive parents and their baby, and it’s immensely helpful for the emotional healing process after adoption. For many women, this is one of the greatest emotional benefits of adoption over abortion.
12. Adoption does not become permanent until signing the legal documents after the baby’s birth, so there is time to consider options and you can change your mind at any time.
One of the reasons why women choose abortion instead of adoption is because they simply know more about abortion than adoption. Unfortunately, abortion is a decision that must be made rather early in the pregnancy, so it’s not uncommon for women to choose abortion with minimal research on their other options. When this happens, women aren’t educated about the other options available to them, and they may not have time to consider the facts about adoption instead of abortion.
When you decide on adoption, you will always have the chance to change your mind throughout the process, up until you sign the adoption paperwork after your baby’s birth. If you change your mind, that’s always okay — but abortion does not offer this option. To get more information on the legal aspects of adoption, call one of our adoption specialists at 1-800-ADOPTION.
13. Women who have already experienced an abortion may not want to repeat the process.
Sometimes, women who have had a previous abortion don’t wish to repeat the experience they had — whether it’s for health or psychological reasons. If they don’t wish to have another abortion but don’t wish to parent their child, they may choose adoption instead.
14. Abortion comes with medical risks that the adoption process does not.
Like any medical procedure, abortion does come with slight medical risks. You may choose to avoid those risks and instead carry your child to term; however, it’s important to know that childbirth also comes with its risks.
15. Adoption allows you to meet, hold and get to know your baby.
You may already feel an emotional connection to your baby, and adoption vs. abortion can be a wrenching decision to make. If you feel a desire to meet your baby and see who he or she will become, think about this: When you place your child for adoption, you can meet the baby you give birth to, spend as much time as you’d like in the hospital with them and get to know who they are in anticipation of who they will become. Abortion doesn’t give you that option.
16. Adoption can be kept confidential
If the reason you’re thinking about choosing abortion over adoption is that you don’t want people to know about your unplanned pregnancy, it’s important to know that you can certainly have a secret adoption. If necessary, our adoption specialists can help provide the resources needed to help you keep your adoption confidential. Whatever your preferences are for informing others of your pregnancy, our specialists can help.
17. Adoption is still possible if you have a complicated relationship with your baby’s father.
It’s common for pregnant women to choose abortion because they’re concerned about the possibility of placing their child for adoption with an unsupportive birth father. However, adoption may still be a possibility in this case. We encourage you to call an adoption specialist at 1-800-ADOPTION to discuss your situation and options in more detail.
18. If you’re under 18, you may be able to place a child for adoption without parental consent — unlike completing an abortion.
In many states, abortion laws require that women under the age of 18 must get parental consent before they can undergo an abortion procedure. For those wanting to keep their pregnancy a secret from their parents, this can be a requirement they can’t meet. On the other hand, when you give birth to your baby, you can usually place them for adoption without your parents’ consent, even if they want you to raise the baby. State laws do vary, so talk to an adoption specialist to learn more about your rights as a teenage birth mother.
19. Adoption allows you to experience pregnancy.
When you choose adoption, you will experience all the highs and lows of pregnancy. For some women, this is an experience they desire to have, especially if they have concerns about their ability to get pregnant again after this pregnancy. Abortion prevents you from having this experience, which can be life-changing.
20. When you inquire about adoption, you get accurate, objective information.
Unfortunately, when you pursue abortion first, the abortion clinics that you contact may not provide objective and factual information. Because abortion is such a controversial topic, some professionals and even state legislatures have made it so pregnant women are given certain information before completing the abortion — and not all of this information is factual or unbiased. However, when you contact an adoption professional like American Adoptions, we will provide objective information so you can make an educated decision about what’s best for you. We’re not here to convince you why putting a baby up for adoption is “better” than abortion — we are here to give you the information and support you need to make a decision you feel good about.
The staff at American Adoptions includes many people with personal adoption experience, including birth mothers, who know what you’re going through and feel strongly about providing the unbiased, nonjudgmental support you deserve. Angelica found that support incredibly helpful as she navigated her own adoption journey.
“You could tell they weren’t just putting on a front to make you want to do it or push you into it,” she said. “They want whatever you want, and that’s what they told me during the whole process. It wasn’t up to them; they were just going to be there for me no matter what decision I made.”
21. Choosing adoption gives you 24/7 support through your emotional journey.
Both adoption and abortion are emotional processes, but adoption can give you access to trained counselors 24 hours a day. American Adoptions will make sure you receive the counseling you need as you decide whether adoption is right for you, during the adoption process and even after the adoption is complete — completely for free.
You can access this professional counseling 24/7 by calling 1-800-ADOPTION. When you choose abortion, however, you will not have the same amount of quality counseling available to you.
22. You are in charge of the adoption process every step of the way.
Choosing adoption over abortion may give you a greater sense of control over your situation.
When you choose to place your child for adoption, you will always be the one with the final say when it comes to different aspects of your adoption process. This includes choosing an adoptive family for your baby, deciding what kind of contact you want with them, determining what your hospital stay will be like and more. Abortion, however, has strict rules and regulations based on state laws; you may need to wait a certain amount of time before you can complete the procedure or be made to listen to certain “advice” and information made to change your mind before you can continue.
Many prospective birth mothers enjoy the freedom of choice that adoption offers, rather than the strict requirements of completing an abortion.
23. You can complete the adoption process from anywhere.
As a national adoption agency, American Adoptions works with expectant mothers from all across the country.
Whether you live in a big city, a small town, or the middle of the countryside, you can reach your adoption specialist whenever you need her and complete the adoption process whenever you’re ready. Aside from your hospital stay and any in-person meetings you schedule with adoption service providers or the adoptive family you choose, most of the adoption process can be completed from your home (or wherever you’re most comfortable).
The same isn’t always true for abortion clinics. Women in rural or remote areas don’t always have easy access to safe and legal abortion services. Many states have only one or two abortion clinics, which means you may have to travel several hours to access abortion services. Depending on state laws, you may even have to make more than one trip to meet counseling and wait time requirements.
You can get more information on your state’s adoption laws by calling 1-800-ADOPTION.
24. You can start the adoption process right away.
No matter where you are in your pregnancy, if you contact American Adoptions, an adoption specialist will help you start the process as soon as you are ready. They will take your information, start sending you adoptive family profiles and help you move forward with the process as soon as possible (you always have the chance to change your mind about your decision). However, abortion can be a long process with more requirements; certain state laws require you to receive education and/or ultrasound and even wait days before you can complete the procedure.
Get More Information on Abortion vs. Placing Your Child for Adoption
We know that the decision for your unplanned pregnancy can be difficult, which is why we are happy to offer you the objective information to help you make the right decision for you. Your reasons for adoption instead of abortion (or vice versa) will be determined by your situation. Whatever decision you make, we can provide you the resources you need to be successful.
“I am available to answer any questions that arise, particularly from birth moms, as I have been in your shoes and know how you are feeling,” Michelle said. “It was most helpful to me when I had someone to talk to who would just listen to me without making any judgments or conclusions about who I was as a person.”
You can ask Michelle questions about the adoption process online. If you're thinking, "I don't want to be pregnant, but I don't want an abortion," please call us confidentially at 1-800-ADOPTION to get more adoption facts and for free adoption information. Adoptive families wanting more information on adopting a child can click here.
Information available through these links is the sole property of the companies and organizations listed therein. America Adoptions, Inc. provides this information as a courtesy and is in no way responsible for its content or accuracy.