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How to Choose Abortion or Adoption for Your Unplanned Pregnancy

Comparing Abortion and Adoption [How Adoption Creates a Better Future]

If you’re experiencing an unplanned pregnancy and considering abortion or adoption, you have the power to make the decision that's best for your life.

You can call 1-800-ADOPTION at any time to get more free information and support as you weigh your options. In the meantime, keep reading to get the information you need to make a thoughtful decision you feel good about.

  • Adoption is always an option for you. Unlike abortion, you can choose adoption at any point in your pregnancy or even after your baby is born.

  • Adoption is 100% free to you, and you can even get financial help to cover your pregnancy-related costs. 

  • Your information is confidential whether you choose adoption or abortion.

  • You can get to know the adoptive family and have a relationship with your child by choosing open adoption.

Why Should I Consider Adoption vs. Abortion?

As a woman contemplating what to do with your unplanned pregnancy, you may have already determined that parenting this baby isn't the best choice for you. At this point, your options are adoption or abortion. But which one is right for you? This is a question many women in your situation ask themselves.

  • The differences between abortion and adoption are immense, but determining which is better for you is entirely up to you.

  • Before you make a decision, we want you to know the facts and to provide you with a better understanding of how adoption can positively affect the lives of everyone involved.  

  • Many of us at American Adoptions are adoptees, adoptive parents and birth parents. Because of that first-hand personal experience, we know how life-changing adoption can be

Take it from Scott Mars, founder of American Adoptions, and an adoptee himself.   

“My mom and dad were a couple who weren’t able to become a mom and dad without adoption. Of all people in this world, my mom and dad deserve to be parents. And without adoption, they would not have been able to share their love, share their life, and give someone the life that I had.       

“Because of adoption, my life was filled with love and opportunity.”  

You can watch Scott’s video to see his entire adoption story.     

This article is not intended to convince you that adoption is “better” than abortion, nor is it meant to persuade you to choose adoption instead of abortion. You are the only person who knows what is best in your situation, and choosing abortion or adoption is a decision that only you can make. But we hope that you’ll consider some of the following information about adoption vs. abortion before you make any decisions.  

If you’re ready to start the adoption process with our agency or want to get more information on adoption vs abortion, call us at 1-800-ADOPTION, or click here.

5 Big Things to Think About Before Choosing Abortion or Adoption

Planned Parenthood reported that in 2019-2020, the organization performed 354,871 abortions and only 2,667 adoption referrals. More women choose an abortion versus adoption, but why? 

It is common for women to believe abortion is a “quick fix” to a big problem. They often believe abortion is cheaper, more confidential, and better for their long-term wellbeing, when in reality that is not necessarily the case — they just don’t understand the facts about adoption.

  • Adoption is 100% free 

  • Adoption is confidential

  • Adoption can be an amazing long-term solution to an unplanned pregnancy

If you are considering abortion vs. adoption, here is a brief comparison of the two: 

1. Abortion and Adoption Have Different Costs 

  • Abortion costs range from hundreds to thousands of dollars, depending on your provider and your stage of pregnancy.

  • Health insurance may cover abortion costs to some degree, but there are several legal restrictions on insurance coverage, and the availability of this option may vary on a case-by-case basis. 

  • It is completely free to place a baby for adoption, and you can even get help covering expenses like rent and groceries during your pregnancy. 

We are often asked, “Why is adoption more expensive than abortion?”

There’s a common misconception that placing a baby for adoption is expensive while getting an abortion is much cheaper. Not only is adoption free, but you may also receive living expenses from the adoptive family to help you cover pregnancy-related expenses such as rent, food, utilities, transportation, maternity clothing, a cell phone and more. 

To get more information on available pregnancy-related financial assistance for your adoption, call 1-800-ADOPTION to speak with an adoption specialist. 

2. Adoption Can be Kept Confidential, Too

Some women choose abortion over adoption because it can be done confidentially. What they may not realize is an adoption can also be completed confidentially, where a woman’s family, friends and community won’t know about it. Here's how:

  • Any information you share with American Adoptions is strictly confidential

  • Your adoption specialist can help you maintain as much privacy as you’d like during your pregnancy and adoption plan

  • There is always a solution to help you keep your pregnancy and adoption private, should you feel the need to do so

3. You Can Stay Connected to Your Child by Choosing Adoption

Through open adoption, you can:

  • Be reassured of your decision for years to come through a continued relationship with your child

  • See the smile on your child’s face through pictures, video chat, social media or even in person 

  • Get to know about and be a part of all the amazing things your child goes on to do

  • Always be reminded of the incredible gift you gave to another family by choosing adoption for your baby

Candice chose adoption when parenting and abortion weren’t options for her. Her decision not only changed the lives of her and her child but gave an amazing gift to a hopeful adoptive family

“I became pregnant at the worst possible time of my life,” she said. “My husband and I were separated. He wanted me to have an abortion, and I couldn’t bring myself to do that. I talked with him about adoption and he agreed...Once I saw Jeff and Amanda’s profile, I felt like God was telling me they were the ones! Jeff and Amanda are wonderful, and I am so thankful I could give them such a gift. We still email and I get pictures. Our little boy is so handsome. They are amazing parents, and I know my son has a huge family who loves and cares so much for him. I am forever thankful for that. Jeff and Amanda saved my baby’s life!” 

Women who choose abortion don’t have the same opportunities to see their child grow and reach important milestones, which can make it more difficult to come to terms with their decision.

Again, neither abortion nor adoption is an easy choice to make, but abortion isn’t always the emotional “quick fix” women sometimes believe they are signing up for. 

4. You are in Control of the Adoption Process 

Today’s adoptions are much different from those in the past. When you choose adoption, you are in control of the adoption process and get to: 

  • Create an adoption plan – With the guidance of one of our adoption specialists, you will create an adoption plan specifically tailored to your every need. 
  • Choose the adoptive family – Not only can you choose the adoptive family, but you can narrow your search based on a multitude of factors, including personality traits, lifestyle choices, religious beliefs and more, that you feel are important to you and your child. 

  • Create an adoption hospital plan – When it comes time for labor and delivery, you get to decide and detail precisely how you want your stay in the hospital to go, including which members of your support team are allowed at the hospital and who you want in the delivery room with you. You’ll also have control over how much time you spend with your baby, as well as how much contact and time you want with the adoptive family. 

  • Choose open, semi-open or closed adoption - You will get to choose what type of post-adoption contact you want to have and maintain a relationship with the family and your child. Through open or semi-open adoption, you can continue to share a life-long bond with your child and the adoptive family. The amount and type of communication are completely up to you. 

And, as mentioned before, your adoption services are completely free, and you may also be eligible to receive living expenses to help you with your pregnancy. You can get more information on the support and services available to you through our agency by calling 1-800-ADOPTION or by visiting us online.

5. Adoption Creates a Better Future 

If you are considering abortion or “giving your kid up” for adoption, know that you are not “giving up” on your child by choosing adoption. Instead, you are:  

  • Giving your baby the gift of a wonderful childhood 

  • Giving adoptive parents who may otherwise have no opportunity a chance at becoming parents

  • Giving yourself a better chance of moving forward from what may be a difficult time in your life

Adoption is certainly not for everyone, but neither is abortion. Choosing adoption rather than abortion can have many benefits for you in addition to providing your child with the opportunity for a happy and healthy life.

Whichever choice you end up making, American Adoptions will always respect your decision. 

Get more Information on Placing Your Child for Adoption   

Michelle, a birth parent specialist and a birth parent herself, is ready to answer any questions you have about putting a baby up for adoption.          

“I am available to answer any questions that arise, particularly from birth moms, as I have been in your shoes and know how you are feeling,” Michelle said. “It was most helpful to me when I had someone to talk to who would just listen to me without making any judgments or conclusions about who I was as a person.”          

You can ask Michelle questions about the adoption process online. If you're thinking, "I don't want to be pregnant, but I don't want an abortion," please call us at 1-800-ADOPTION to get more free adoption information

Information available through these links is the sole property of the companies and organizations listed therein. American Adoptions provides this information as a courtesy and is in no way responsible for its content or accuracy.

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Frequently Asked Questions

Why is American Adoptions the right adoption agency choice for many birth mothers?

American Adoptions is one of the largest licensed adoption agencies in the United States. Each year, we work with thousands of women who are facing an unplanned pregnancy and offer assistance to these women. Our large, caring staff is able to assist you seven days a week and provide you with one-on-one counseling about your pregnancy and available options.

You should choose an adoption agency where you feel completely comfortable with their services and staff. With American Adoptions, you will work with an Adoption Specialist who is on-call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The Adoption Specialist will be your advocate and will provide support and guidance as you create an adoption plan that is right for you.

How will the family tell my child about me and the adoption when my child is older?

Each family has their own style of introducing adoption to the child. When you are matched with an adoptive family, you can ask them this question. If you would like your Adoption Specialist to discuss it for you, just let her know. He or she can share your wishes or provide good ideas from other adoptive families.

You will also be able to share what you want your baby to know about you. You can complete a keepsake booklet to share hobbies, stories, photos of you and your family and a letter to your baby. The adoptive family can provide this to your child as he or she grows older. Be as creative as you like! Some birth mothers have even knitted a special blanket as a gift to their baby or given a similar symbol of their love.

The father of your baby can fill out the birth father's keepsake booklet or write a letter too. You may have other family members who would also like to share photos or a letter to the baby. This is your opportunity to pass on your and your family's love and to share your personality, history and reasons for choosing adoption. The adoptive family will treasure whatever information you provide and will share it with the baby at an appropriate age. In most adoptive homes, the word adoption is in the child's vocabulary early on, and adoption is celebrated in their lives.

Additional Resources

Teen Pregnancy - Information for Young Women

While not every woman who chooses adoption is a young mother, many are. Through adoption, many young women have found an ability to give their babies the best life possible, while finding the opportunity to realize their own dreams, as well. Call American Adoptions today at 1-800-ADOPTION.

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Adoption Glossary

Do adoption terms and phrases leave you feeling confused? Learn the meaning to key adoption words and phrases with our comprehensive adoption glossary.

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