Supportive Birth Fathers, Married Couples Choosing Adoption
Having a Partner Throughout the Adoption Process
Many women who choose adoption for their babies do so because they are not currently in a relationship with their baby’s father and they are not ready to raise a child on their own. However, this doesn’t mean unplanned pregnancies only happen to single women. In fact, many of the expectant parents American Adoptions work with are in a relationship with their baby’s father or married and giving baby up for adoption.
When facing an unplanned pregnancy and considering adoption for your baby, the best-case scenario is the birth father is supportive of your adoption plan, whether you are married to him, friends with him, or he’s out of the picture but has approved of your decision.
If any of these scenarios describe your situation, embrace this opportunity. Having the birth father’s support throughout the adoption process is invaluable, and you can lean on one another while you experience the emotions of this process together.
Married Couple Placing a Child for Adoption
Many prospective birth parents have asked, “Can a married couple give a baby for adoption?”
It is common for married couples to face unplanned pregnancies. And, sometimes, a married couple is not ready to add a child (or another child) to their family. There is no shame in that. If a couple is married and can’t provide for new baby, considering adoption is always an option for them.
If this describes your situation, American Adoptions can work with both of you to develop an adoption plan you are comfortable with. Together, you will decide exactly how you want your adoption process to go, from the type of parents you want for your child to the hospital stay and more. An adoption specialist will also help you find the perfect adoptive family — an adoptive family willing to share the kind of post-adoption relationship that you desire, whether that is an open adoption, semi-open adoption or closed adoption.
Married couples placing a child for adoption receive all of the same services and benefits as single birth mothers, in addition to having each other for strength and support throughout this process. Giving baby up for adoption while married can be an emotionally difficult decision, so the two of you must be on the same page and supportive of one another. Your adoption specialist will also always be available to provide the support you need, and she may be able to help if any disagreements arise regarding your adoption plan.
“What if We Are Married and Pregnant – and Don’t Want to Be?”
When you’re married but want to give baby up for adoption, you may have feelings of guilt or shame. Perhaps you feel that you should try to raise this child because you’re a two-parent household. But there are many reasons why people choose adoption for their child outside of being a single parent.
For couples who are married, giving baby up for adoption may be the best option if they find themselves unexpectedly pregnant and unable to provide for their baby financially or emotionally the way they want to. You may be raising older children and aren’t prepared to bring another child into your family right now, or this may be your first pregnancy but you’re not ready for children at this stage in your lives.
Sometimes, a married couple giving up baby for adoption simply doesn’t want children, now or in the future. No matter what your circumstances are, it’s ok to have goals for yourself and your relationship that don’t involve children at all! You should never feel pressured into raising a child just because you’re unexpectedly pregnant or because you feel like you “should” want to have kids. Giving your baby up for adoption as a married couple is a decision that belongs to the two of you, and you alone. If you are married and pregnant and don’t want to be, and if you feel that adoption is what’s best for you, your baby and your family, then we’ll help you to create an adoption plan that you feel comfortable with.
Birth Father is Supportive but Not Involved
Even if you are not currently in a relationship with the birth father, he may still be supportive of your adoption decision.
If your baby’s father is playing a supportive role throughout this adoption process, realize how unique and special that is. Let him know how much you appreciate his support during this tough time in both of your lives – it will mean a lot to him, too.
It is OK if you and the birth father have different ideas regarding future interaction with the adoptive family. For example, you might desire exchanging emails and occasional phone calls with the adoptive family, while the birth father just wants annual picture updates.
Our adoption specialists can work with you and the birth father to create your own adoption plans, which may include picture and letter updates during the first 18 years of the child’s life.
For more information about giving your baby up for adoption as a married couple and the role a supportive birth father can play in an adoption, call 1-800-ADOPTION or request free adoption information now.
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