Celebrating a Birth Father on Fathers Day

 

Father’s Day is dedicated to celebrating everything that makes our dads awesome. But for fathers who have placed their children for adoption, it can be a struggle to get through the whole day. And for adoptive parents who want to celebrate the unique role he plays in their child’s life, they might be wondering about the best way to celebrate.

No matter what your relationship is like with the other members of the triad, you likely have some mixed feelings about Father’s Day for birth dads as a whole. That’s why we’re here to help. In this guide, we provided some tips for coming on Father’s Day for birth dads, along with some ways that you can celebrate (if you feel comfortable.) But if you’re feeling overwhelmed about the day ahead and need someone to talk to, don’t forget that you can always reach out to an adoption specialist for support.

In the meantime, here’s what you should know about coping as a birth dad on Father’s Day.

Coping as a Birth Father on Father’s Day

When people think of birth parents, much of the attention is on the birth mother. After all, an adoption can’t move forward without her brave and selfless decision. But that, of course, can leave birth fathers feeling left out.

There are some people who believe that most if not all birth fathers are unsupportive or uninvolved. But despite his relationship with the birth mother or his feelings toward the adoption, placing a child with another family is still felt as a loss. Birth fathers may struggle with feelings of grief as they move into this new chapter of their life without their child, too. Without a lot of information on helpful resources, they might be unsure of who to turn to.

If you “gave a child up for adoption” and it’s Father’s Day, then you might be feeling a range of emotions. You might be experience:

• Guilt
• Loneliness
• Grief
• And more

 

You should know that these feelings are normal. If you have an open adoption, spending some time with your child and their adoptive family as a birth father on Father’s Day or just getting a short phone call from them can alleviate some of these feelings. But even so, not being the focus of the holiday can lead to some heartache.

If you find yourself struggling on taking care of yourself this holiday, there are few ways that you can take the focus off the event and back on doing things that you love.

• Spend time with friends and family: Spending time with loved ones is one of the best ways to get out of a funk. If you have people close to you who understand what you’re going through as a birth dad on Father’s Day, you should lean on them for support. Use this weekend as an opportunity to spend time with people who care for you. 
• Take some time for yourself: Even if you’re not able to spend time with your child and their adoptive family, don’t’ forget that Birth Father’s Day is still about you! Use this day to do all of your favorite things. No matter how you choose to celebrate, you still deserve to be celebrated.
• Reach out to other birth fathers: You’re not alone as a birth dad on Father’s Day. If you can, try to join a support group for birth fathers or other birth parents who know exactly what you’re going through. These can take place either online or in-person. You might even be able to find blogs or posts from birth fathers who have written about their experience with Father’s Day.

Is there a Father’s Day for Birth Fathers?

Yes. Just like Birth Mother’s Day, there is a holiday decided exclusively to fathers who have placed their child for adoption. For birth fathers, this takes place on the Saturday before Father’s Day. It’s a great opportunity for adoptive parents and adoptees to take some time to celebrate the men who made this loving and selfless decision to place their child for adoption. There are many ways that you can celebrate this holiday, whether together or apart, if you choose to coordinate with the adoptive family.

How to Celebrate Father’s Day for Birth Father

Regardless of your relationship with other members of the adoption triad, there are still some great ways that you can celebrate yourself. Below are just a few ideas.

• Hold onto something special: If you have a photograph or a special memento from your child’s birth, keep it close to you today. While you might not be able to see your child in person, you can always keep your memories of them with you as a birth dad on Father’s Day.
• Plan a phone call: If you have a more open adoption with your child and their adoptive family, you might decide to schedule a time to talk with one another over the phone. Just a quick Father’s Day message can turn your day around. If you’d like, you can do a video call as well.
• Write a letter to your child: Writing is one of the best ways to relieve to some stress. If you’re having some complicated thoughts about Father’s Day for birth fathers, today is a great day to get it all out. You can even take it in a different direction and write a letter to your child. Even if you choose not to send it, getting all of your emotions out there is better than just letting it bubble up. If you’d like, you might even choose to save some of your letters and give them to your child in their future if you want.

 

Father’s Day and Mother’s Day can create some complicated emotions for birth parents around the world. No matter what you decide to do as a birth father on Father’s Day, we hope you take some time to celebrate yourself and the incredible decision you made for your child’s future.

Disclaimer
Information available through these links is the sole property of the companies and organizations listed therein. American Adoptions provides this information as a courtesy and is in no way responsible for its content or accuracy.