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“What does adoption mean to a child?”

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Is Adoption Right for Me?

5 Questions to Ask Yourself

Placing your child for adoption is a big decision to make — one that will impact the rest of both of your lives. So, how do you know if adoption is right for you?

Ultimately, you are the only one who can answer this question. No matter where a prospective birth mother is in her adoption process, she is always the one in charge — and she can always decide whether or not to follow through with her adoption plan at any time.

Deciding if adoption is right for you may take some time and some soul-searching; it’s not a decision that can be easily made overnight. You may consider beginning an adoption plan and putting the process in motion just in case you choose adoption. In fact, doing this will provide the experienced help of an options counselor, who can help you determine whether giving your baby up for adoption is right for your situation.

Remember, you are the only person who can decide if adoption is right for you. However, if you are asking, “How do you know if adoption is right for you?” you may consider also asking yourself some of these important questions.

1. Do You Fully Understand the Adoption Process?

If you are wondering how to know if “giving a baby up for adoption” is the right thing for you, you first need to understand a few important things. Adoption is not “giving up on” or “giving away” your baby; it is choosing to give your child the best life possible — a life you may not be able to provide yourself at this point in time.

You may think of adoption as the outdated, secretive process made popular through inaccurate TV and movie plots. However, modern adoption is very different. Adoption gives you the chance to choose parents for your baby, get to know them before giving birth, and even maintain a post-adoption relationship with them to watch your baby grow up.

As a prospective birth mother, you will always be in charge of your journey. You will never be forced into an adoption decision, no matter where you are in your adoption plan. You will determine what makes you comfortable each step of the way, including your preferences for adoption contact, your delivery experience and more.

To learn more about the realities of the adoption process, we encourage you to contact an adoption specialist today at 1-800-ADOPTION.

2. Are You Unable to Raise Your Child Right Now?

If you’re asking, “Is adoption right for me?” ask yourself this: “Can I be the parent my child deserves?”

Being a parent comes with a lot of responsibility and sacrifice. Your child’s interests will always come first, and you may need to give up certain things in your own life to provide them the opportunities they deserve. Perhaps you have other life, financial and career goals in mind before you raise a child. Choosing to place your child for adoption because of those dreams is not selfish; you will selflessly be making the choice to give your child parents who are prepared for the responsibility of parenting, while also giving yourself the best chance at achieving your goals.

If you have thought about the emotional, financial and physical responsibilities of raising a child, and you know that you cannot take on those burdens, adoption may be the best choice for you.

3. Are You Under Financial Duress?

While you should never feel financially forced into choosing adoption, the financial benefits of placing your child for adoption may influence how to decide if adoption is right for you and your baby. Carrying a baby to term and raising him or her is expensive, and these expenses may be a huge factor in your decision. Even if you choose abortion, you will still be required to pay for your procedure.

If you choose adoption, on the other hand, your pregnancy and adoption process will be completely free to you. You can even receive financial assistance for certain living expenses, like rent, groceries, transportation and other bills. Choosing adoption is difficult enough emotionally, so adoption professionals make sure that the financial burden is not overwhelming, as well.

For many birth mothers, adoption allows them to improve their financial situation and get back on their feet after their pregnancy for a better future.

4. Are You Uncomfortable with the Idea of Abortion?

One way of how to know if adoption is right for you is if you are against the idea of abortion. Women are uncomfortable with the idea of abortion for many reasons — religious, ethical, financial and medical. While abortion is a safe and legal option, if it is not the right choice for you, adoption may be the answer instead.

Do you want to give your child a chance at life but are unsure you can provide that quality of life yourself? You do not have to be forced into parenting. In fact, this situation is why many women ultimately choose adoption for their child instead of abortion. While it’s not mentioned as much as abortion and parenting, adoption is always an available, responsible option for your unplanned pregnancy.

5. Have You Thought Long and Hard About Your Adoption Decision?

No matter what suggestions and advice you receive from professionals, family and friends, you are ultimately the only one who can answer the question, “Is adoption right for me?” This is a deeply personal choice, so it’s important that you research all of your options and think hard before making any life-changing decisions.

Adoption is not an “easy way out,” and neither is choosing to parent or get an abortion. Each process comes with its own pros and cons to consider, and which one is right for you will always be determined by your personal situation. While abortion is an option that must be decided on within a certain amount of time, you can choose adoption at any point in your pregnancy — even after you have given birth.

For more guidance on how to decide if adoption is right for you, you can always call our adoption specialists at 1-800-ADOPTION for free, confidential counseling. “Giving a baby up for adoption” can be the right thing for you, as long as you are aware of what it will really mean and what paths it will open for you in the future.

Information available through these links is the sole property of the companies and organizations listed therein. America Adoptions, Inc. provides this information as a courtesy and is in no way responsible for its content or accuracy.

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Frequently Asked Questions

Why is American Adoptions the right adoption agency choice for many birth mothers?

American Adoptions is one of the largest licensed adoption agencies in the United States. Each year, we work with thousands of women who are facing an unplanned pregnancy and offer assistance to these women. Our large, caring staff is able to assist you seven days a week and provide you with one-on-one counseling about your pregnancy and available options.

You should choose an adoption agency where you feel completely comfortable with their services and staff. With American Adoptions, you will work with an Adoption Specialist who is on-call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The Adoption Specialist will be your advocate and will provide support and guidance as you create an adoption plan that is right for you.

How will the family tell my child about me and the adoption when my child is older?

Each family has their own style of introducing adoption to the child. When you are matched with an adoptive family, you can ask them this question. If you would like your Adoption Specialist to discuss it for you, just let her know. He or she can share your wishes or provide good ideas from other adoptive families.

You will also be able to share what you want your baby to know about you. You can complete a keepsake booklet to share hobbies, stories, photos of you and your family and a letter to your baby. The adoptive family can provide this to your child as he or she grows older. Be as creative as you like! Some birth mothers have even knitted a special blanket as a gift to their baby or given a similar symbol of their love.

The father of your baby can fill out the birth father's keepsake booklet or write a letter too. You may have other family members who would also like to share photos or a letter to the baby. This is your opportunity to pass on your and your family's love and to share your personality, history and reasons for choosing adoption. The adoptive family will treasure whatever information you provide and will share it with the baby at an appropriate age. In most adoptive homes, the word adoption is in the child's vocabulary early on, and adoption is celebrated in their lives.

Additional Resources

Teen Pregnancy - Information for Young Women

While not every woman who chooses adoption is a young mother, many are. Through adoption, many young women have found an ability to give their babies the best life possible, while finding the opportunity to realize their own dreams, as well. Call American Adoptions today at 1-800-ADOPTION.

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Adoption Glossary

Do adoption terms and phrases leave you feeling confused? Learn the meaning to key adoption words and phrases with our comprehensive adoption glossary.

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