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“What does adoption mean to a child?”

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Dealing with Unsupportive Parents and Other Family Members

How to Make Them Understand Your Adoption Plan

Some expectant mothers worry that once they put their ideal adoption plan into place, unsupportive parents or family members will try to stop the adoption from happening.

Your parents and family cannot prevent you from following through with your adoption plan. Whether you choose to parent or place your child for adoption is a decision that only you are allowed to make.

However, parents who are unsupportive of adoption can affect your overall adoption experience. Because adoption is such an emotional time for everyone involved, particularly for you, it is in everyone’s best interest for your parents to provide adoption support.

So how do you turn parents who are unsupportive of adoption into parents who will be an important part of your adoption support system?

The best way is through education. Make sure they understand all of the benefits of adoption and that you are in full control of your adoption plan. Tell your parents that:

  • You select the adoptive family – You are able to choose a family who is perfect for your baby. If you feel comfortable with it, your parents can even help you choose the family.

  • You will receive financial assistance – American Adoptions will cover you adoption expenses, such as medical, legal and counseling expenses. In many situations, you are also allowed living expenses to help you with rent, utilities and other bills.

  • You have goals that wouldn’t be possible to achieve while raising a child – Whether you have dreams of earning a college degree or beginning a career, adding a child to your life could put those goals on hold indefinitely. Regardless of your reason for choosing adoption, make sure your parents understand how your life will be positively affected by adoption.

  • You choose the amount of contact – You will receive letters and pictures, emails and any other types of contact with the adoptive family that is important to you. Your parents can also stay updated by being sent pictures and letters of their grandchild.

Above all, make sure your parents understand that no matter how they feel, you are moving on with your adoption plan. Remind them of all of the reasons you are choosing adoption, and reiterate how much their support would mean to you.

Remember, our Adoption Specialists are always available to help you determine how to approach unsupportive friends and family members. If you are pursuing adoption and need help assistance on how to talk to someone specifically, call 1-800-ADOPTION or click the following for free adoption information.

Information available through these links is the sole property of the companies and organizations listed therein. America Adoptions, Inc. provides this information as a courtesy and is in no way responsible for its content or accuracy.

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Frequently Asked Questions

Why is American Adoptions the right adoption agency choice for many birth mothers?

American Adoptions is one of the largest licensed adoption agencies in the United States. Each year, we work with thousands of women who are facing an unplanned pregnancy and offer assistance to these women. Our large, caring staff is able to assist you seven days a week and provide you with one-on-one counseling about your pregnancy and available options.

You should choose an adoption agency where you feel completely comfortable with their services and staff. With American Adoptions, you will work with an Adoption Specialist who is on-call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The Adoption Specialist will be your advocate and will provide support and guidance as you create an adoption plan that is right for you.

How will the family tell my child about me and the adoption when my child is older?

Each family has their own style of introducing adoption to the child. When you are matched with an adoptive family, you can ask them this question. If you would like your Adoption Specialist to discuss it for you, just let her know. He or she can share your wishes or provide good ideas from other adoptive families.

You will also be able to share what you want your baby to know about you. You can complete a keepsake booklet to share hobbies, stories, photos of you and your family and a letter to your baby. The adoptive family can provide this to your child as he or she grows older. Be as creative as you like! Some birth mothers have even knitted a special blanket as a gift to their baby or given a similar symbol of their love.

The father of your baby can fill out the birth father's keepsake booklet or write a letter too. You may have other family members who would also like to share photos or a letter to the baby. This is your opportunity to pass on your and your family's love and to share your personality, history and reasons for choosing adoption. The adoptive family will treasure whatever information you provide and will share it with the baby at an appropriate age. In most adoptive homes, the word adoption is in the child's vocabulary early on, and adoption is celebrated in their lives.

Additional Resources

Teen Pregnancy - Information for Young Women

While not every woman who chooses adoption is a young mother, many are. Through adoption, many young women have found an ability to give their babies the best life possible, while finding the opportunity to realize their own dreams, as well. Call American Adoptions today at 1-800-ADOPTION.

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Adoption Glossary

Do adoption terms and phrases leave you feeling confused? Learn the meaning to key adoption words and phrases with our comprehensive adoption glossary.

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