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What Are My Responsibilities as the Father?

How to Make a Responsible Decision

When it comes to the adoption process and unplanned pregnancy, a lot of the discussion focuses on the birth mother. Although the birth mother is integral to adoption, there is often another person by her side who is also important in the conversation: the birth father.

As a birth father, you want to provide as much support as you can for the birth mother and her adoption experience. But, what are some ways that you can help her, exactly?

To get free adoption information now, you can contact us today at 1-800-ADOPTION. In the meantime, though, we’ve created this informative guide that details how you can take some of the weight off of the birth mother’s shoulders.

Can a father put a child up for adoption? What are the responsibilities of a father in adoption? We’ll answer some of the most common questions we receive about being a birth father. We recognize that this journey is not simple for you. There are many emotional highs and lows, but adoption can be incredibly rewarding for everyone.

Can a Father “Give a Child up” for Adoption? [Choosing Adoption Is Not “Giving Up”]

While you and the birth mother discuss adoption, you may ask yourself, “Can a father ‘give a child up’ for adoption?” The answer is yes. Prospective birth fathers can always choose adoption alongside the mother, and you can work with your partner to create an adoption plan that’s perfect for your baby.

Also, you may have noticed that we put the phrase “give a child up” in quotes. There’s a reason for that. It’s one of the most common phrases that people use when they talk about adoption, but it completely misses the point. Adoption is far from “giving up.” Rather, it is a brave, selfless and heroic decision made out of a profound love for your child. That is nothing short of beautiful.

Still, adoption is not easy. This is partly because of the stigma surrounding fathers who choose adoption. But, American Adoptions is here for you because we want to break that stigma.

Fathers that “give up a child” for adoption may feel upset that they can’t currently provide the life they want for their child. For example, some common emotions birth fathers experience include:

  • Grief
  • Guilt
  • Doubt

But, there is no need to feel ashamed or guilty. By choosing adoption, you are giving your child a chance at the best life possible. You are also supporting the birth mother, and this means more to her than you will ever know.

Shawn, a birth father, has dealt with a fair share of complicated emotions. But, he got through them, and he discovered that adoption was the right choice for his baby and himself. Although his partner was the one who chose adoption, he gave her his full support. He doesn’t regret it one bit.

“Both of us were still in high school and already had plans to attend college,” he said. “I definitely was not ready to be a father; I had no idea how to take care of a child. From what the mother had told me, the adoptive family was very nice and would take great care of Ryan. I trusted her judgment and thought that this would be the best thing for us to do at this point in our lives.”

So, can a father put a child up for adoption? The answer is always yes. When you do so, you are making a sacrifice in the best interests of your child.

What Are the Responsibilities of a Father in the Adoption Process?

You may have already guessed it, but the responsibilities of a father in adoption are paramount to a smooth journey. Below, we have outlined some of your responsibilities to give you a better idea of what you can do:

  • Provide support to the birth mother: One of the most important responsibilities is supporting the birth mother throughout her unplanned pregnancy. This can be a scary time for her, and there are many unknowns. But, you can be there for her whenever she needs you.
  • Assist in creating the adoption plan: Aside from offering all your support to the birth mother, you can also help her create the adoption plan. There are many ways that birth fathers can help with adoption, and making the adoption plan is one of them. Keep in mind that, when you work with American Adoptions, you are never alone. Our trusted team can help you complete your adoption from start to finish. This includes creating a detailed adoption plan.
  • Help choose the adoptive family: One of the key parts of an adoption plan is choosing the right adoptive family for your baby. For fathers that “give up a child” for adoption, finding the perfect adoptive parents can reassure you that you are making the right choice for your child. Many birth parents feel much more comfortable once they meet the hopeful adoptive parents for the first time, so be sure to trust your “gut feeling” as you conduct your search.

We should also mention that, even if you and the birth mother are no longer together, you can still help with the adoption process to whatever extent she feels comfortable with. As long as she is OK with it, you can serve as a helpful, supportive presence in her life while she goes through her unplanned pregnancy and the adoption journey. It’s one of the responsibilities of a father in adoption that you can tackle head-on.

“You need to be as supportive as possible to your partner,” Stephen, a birth father who worked with American Adoptions, said. “It’s not going to be easy at any point. But, you have to remain strong and vigilant to your partner’s needs and understand that, even though it’s hard on you, it’s twice as hard on your partner. If you’re strong enough, you can weather any storm.”


Adoption can be a stressful, confusing experience from time to time. Fathers that “give up a child” for adoption have many responsibilities, but you don’t have to navigate them alone. American Adoptions is here for you whenever you may need us. Remember that you can call us any time at 1-800-ADOPTION to get more adoption information now.

You can also contact us if you have any more questions about the responsibilities of a father in adoption. We would love to hear from you, and we’re ready to provide the help that you need!

Information available through these links is the sole property of the companies and organizations listed therein. American Adoptions provides this information as a courtesy and is in no way responsible for its content or accuracy.

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