Life After Giving Baby Up for Adoption in Maine: Support, Healing and Hope
Life after giving baby up for adoption in Maine can include healing, hope, and ongoing connection with your child—when you have the right support system in place.
With access to professional counseling, supportive communities, and the option for open adoption, you can build a meaningful path forward that honors both your love for your baby and your own wellbeing.
Schedule a consultation today—because wondering what comes next doesn't mean you have to figure it out alone.
We're here to walk you through what life after adoption looks like, the emotions you may experience, the support available to you in Maine, and how you can stay connected with your child's adoptive family.
What Happens After I Give My Baby Up for Adoption
After you give your baby up for adoption in Maine, two important processes begin: the legal finalization of the adoption and your own emotional healing journey.
From a legal standpoint, Maine's adoption finalization process typically takes several months after placement.
Once you've signed your consent to adoption (which cannot be signed until at least 72 hours after birth in Maine), the adoptive parents will file a petition to finalize the adoption with the court. The court will then issue a final decree of adoption, usually within three to six months of placement.
But the legal process is only one part of what happens after placement.
The emotional aftermath of those first few days and weeks can feel overwhelming—and that's completely normal.
You might experience grief, relief, numbness, sadness, or even moments of peace knowing your baby is with their family.
These feelings don't mean you made the wrong decision. They mean you're human, and you gave your child up for adoption out of profound love.
Post-Adoption Counseling Options for Birth Mothers in Maine
One of the most important things to know about post adoption support is that our support doesn't end when placement is complete.
At American Adoptions, your adoption specialist remains available to you for as long as you need—offering free, 24/7 counseling services even after your baby goes home with their adoptive family.
Post adoption counseling for birth mothers provides a safe, confidential space to process your emotions, navigate relationships with the adoptive family, and work through the complex feelings that can arise after placement.
We can also connect you with licensed therapists in Maine who specialize in adoption-related issues.
Post Adoption Support Groups Near Me
Sometimes, the most powerful support comes from other birth mothers who truly understand what you're going through. Here are some post adoption support groups near you and resources available to birth mothers in Maine:
- Adoptive & Foster Families of Maine (AFFM) – Offers resources and connections for all members of the adoption triad, including birth parents.
- CareNet Pregnancy Centers of Maine – Multiple locations throughout Maine, including Portland, Bangor, and Lewiston, offering post-placement support and counseling.
- Reddit's Birth Parents Community (r/birthparents) – An active online community where birth mothers share experiences and offer support.
- Concerned United Birthparents (CUB) – A national organization offering post adoption support for birth parents.
The Emotions You May Feel After Placement—And Why They're All Normal
Life after giving baby up for adoption includes experiencing a wide range of emotions, and every single one of them is valid.
Some birth mothers feel relief. Others feel profound grief. Many feel both at the same time—and that's okay.
You might experience sadness when you see other mothers with their babies, or when you pass by the nursery section at a Target in South Portland.
You might feel guilt, anger, or numbness. You might also feel pride—because you made an incredibly difficult decision out of love for your child. All of these emotions of adoption can coexist and change from day to day.
Will I Regret Giving My Baby Up for Adoption?
Most birth mothers don't regret their adoption decision, but many do experience grief, sadness, and moments of wondering "what if?"
These feelings aren't the same as regret. Regret suggests you made the wrong choice. Grief acknowledges that even the right choice can be painful.
You chose adoption because you knew it was what was best for your baby. Many birth mothers find it helpful to reframe the language around adoption. You didn't "give up" your baby—you made an adoption plan.
How Long Does It Take to Feel 'Normal' Again?
There's no timeline for how long it takes to feel normal after adoption.
Every birth mother's healing journey is unique. Some birth mothers start to feel more like themselves within a few months.
Others find that healing takes a year or longer. What we do know is that healing happens more readily when you have support.
How to Stay Connected With Your Baby's Adoptive Family After Placement
If you chose an open adoption, which most adoptions through American Adoptions are, staying connected with your child and their adoptive family after placement is not only possible, it's encouraged.
In the weeks and months after placement, communication typically starts with text messages, emails, or phone calls. The adoptive parents might send you photos and updates about milestones—first smiles, first words, first steps.
Many open adoptions in Maine include in-person visits. You might meet at a park in Portland's Old Port, share a meal in Bangor, or spend time together along the coast in Bar Harbor.
How to Talk About the Adoption With People in Your Life
One of the challenges of life after adoption is figuring out how—and when—to talk about your experience with friends, family, coworkers, and others in your life.
When talking with close friends and family, honesty often helps. At work or school, you don't owe anyone the full story. If someone asks about your pregnancy, a simple response like, "I made an adoption plan for my baby" is enough.
It's also okay if telling your family about adoption feels complicated.
Some families struggle to understand or support your choice. If that's your experience, leaning on your adoption specialist, counselor, or a support group can provide the understanding your family isn't able to offer.
Parenting After Adoption Placement: How to Support Your Other Children
If you have other children, the most important thing you can do is be honest in an age-appropriate way.
For younger children, you might say, "Your baby brother went to live with a family who can take care of him in ways I couldn't right now. They love him very much, just like I love you."
Some children may feel confused or even angry about the adoption. Reassure them that your decision was specific to this situation, and that you are committed to caring for them.
If you're thinking about having another baby after adoption, know that many birth mothers go on to parent children in the future.
Returning to Work or School After Adoption
Whether you're heading back to work in Portland, continuing your studies at the University of Maine in Orono, or returning to your job in Auburn or Biddeford, the transition back to your daily routine after placement can feel overwhelming.
One thing many birth mothers don't realize is that the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) applies to them. Under federal law, if you work for a covered employer, you're entitled to up to 12 weeks of unpaid, job-protected leave—even if you placed your baby for adoption.
If you're unsure whether you qualify or how to navigate maternity leave after giving your baby up for adoption, speaking with your employer's HR department can clarify your options.
Real Stories from Birth Mothers Like You
Hearing from other birth mothers who have walked this path can be one of the most powerful forms of support.
Lindsey, a birth mother who placed her baby for adoption, said:
"(My adoption specialist) was there for me when I didn't have anybody, and she always knew just what to say. I did have a lot of concerns and fears, and she knew how to talk me through them. She was just amazing, and I'm so glad that she's in my life."
About her relationship with the adoptive family, Lindsey shared: "They told me when I had Charlotte that I'm family. That means a lot to me because I know that they weren't going to be given the baby and never talk to me again."
Post-Adoption Life for Birth Mothers: Q&A
How do I bring up adoption when starting new relationships?
Dating after adoption can feel intimidating. What matters most is that you share your story on your own terms. When you do bring it up, frame it as part of your story, not something you need to apologize for.
How do I handle boundaries with the adoptive family?
Building trust in open adoption starts with clear communication. If you're feeling like the adoptive family is sending too many updates—or not enough—it's okay to speak up.
How do I respond to people who judge or don't "get" my decision?
When someone questions your decision, remember: you don't owe them an explanation. If it's someone close to you, you might choose to educate them. If not, setting a firm boundary is perfectly appropriate.
Will certain dates, like my baby's birthday or the day of placement, always feel difficult?
Creating intentional rituals can help you honor your child's adoption anniversary—lighting a candle, planting a tree, or making a donation to a cause you care about.
Will my child understand my decision one day?
Research shows that children in open adoption often grow up understanding their birth mother's love when it's reinforced consistently. Your presence gives them a foundation of love and truth.
We're Still Here for You—Reach Out Anytime
Life after giving baby up for adoption in Maine isn't something you have to navigate alone.
American Adoptions remains a resource for post adoption support, counseling, and guidance. You made a courageous decision out of love for your child—and you deserve ongoing support as you heal and move forward.
Get the support you deserve and contact us today.
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