"Giving a Baby Up" for Adoption is not "Giving Up" [Here's Why]
You are not “giving up” when you place your baby for adoption, because you are putting your baby’s needs ahead of your own. That’s brave, loving and heroic.
You can get free help, counseling and services immediately if you would like to learn more about adoption by calling 1-800-ADOPTION or visiting here.
The most important thing for you to know about adoption is that it can give your child the life you hope for them. Because of this, many birth parents are proud of the sacrifice they made when they chose adoption.
“I had a lot of thoughts going through my head, trying to figure out what I was going to do with my unborn daughter. I knew that I couldn’t give her the life that she deserved. Luckily, my older sister helped me with the adoption process, getting in touch with American Adoptions and finding a wonderful family to take care of her,” said Chauniece of her adoption experience.
If you’re a hopeful adoptive parent wanting to adopt a child, you can get more information here.
We want to show you more of the ways that “giving your baby up” for adoption can be a force for good. Adoption is many things, but it is not “giving up.”
Why You Might Think Birth Parents “Give Up” Their Babies
“Giving a baby up for adoption.”
It’s probably the most common phrase anyone uses when they talk about adoption. Birth mothers are often thought of as women who choose to "give up" their unborn babies for adoption. From talk shows, to websites, and even to casual conversation among friends, the term "give up" has become synonymous with adoption.
And that’s a shame, because it completely misses the point.
If we as a society stopped to think about what we were really saying, we’d realize that it couldn't be further from the truth. The reality is that women do not "give up" when choosing adoption for their baby. Whatever your reason for placing your infant for adoption, whether you feel like you cannot provide them with the life you feel they deserve, you are not ready to parent or simply do not want to be a parent, you are valid. You are giving your baby the best life possible.
When you choose adoption, you are:
“Adoption has given me an amazing life,” Scott Mars, the co-founder of American Adoptions who was adopted as an infant, said in this video. “I had the most awesome mom and dad growing up... I was able to do whatever I dreamt of.”
Adoption is a life of love for a child — a life complete with hugs, laughter and lullabies, soccer games, sleepovers and graduations. By putting your baby up for adoption, you are choosing to do not what is best for your baby, even if it’s not easy for you.
How Adoption Can Be Good For Your Child
You want what is best for your child. Most people may not get that, but after 30 years of serving women choosing adoption, we know it’s true.
If you’re held back from choosing adoption because you think it’s “giving up” or “giving away” your baby, then it might be helpful to hear about all of the good things adoption can be for a child.
The benefits of adoption for your baby are:
A loving family
A safe and supportive environment
A lasting connection with you through open adoption
The opportunity to receive the education you want for them
The ability to pursue their dreams
A life full of love
Adoption is challenging, but it is also worth it. When you think of “giving your child up” for adoption, you can instead think about all of the good it can do. Stories of other birth mothers show how adoption works out for the good of everyone involved, and it can work out for you and your baby, too.
"Even when I was a the hospital holding a brand-new baby in my arms, I knew that this was Chris and Lexie's child, and that I had just given her the best possible start to life," said Colleen, a birth mother who worked with American Adoptions. "There's still emotions that I feel, but it's never regret or sadness. I know this was the best decision to make for me, and I'm really happy with the way everything's turned out."
How Adoption Can Be Good For You
Today's adoptions are considerably different than those from the mid-1900s and even those from the 1980s.
Gone are the days when a woman simply handed her baby over to an adoptive family, never to see or hear from them again — and never knowing how her child was doing or how much her child was loved.
This outdated way of doing adoption is where the phrase “give up” came from. But today, you don’t “give up” your baby. You are actually in charge of the process — from start to finish — getting all of the support you need for free and making all of the most important decisions.
“Giving your child up” for adoption looks like:
Creating your adoption plan
Receiving adoption financial assistance
Choosing the perfect adoptive parents
Deciding on a hospital plan
Plus, the end of the adoption process is not the end of your adoption journey. Placement is not “goodbye;” it’s “see you later.”
The vast majority of adoptions today are open. Along with putting you in control of your unplanned pregnancy, adoption creates the opportunity for a lifelong connection with your baby, even after placement.
Today's birth mothers see firsthand how their babies grow up though pictures, letters and even visits and phone calls.
And finally, when you put your newborn up for adoption, you not only choose your adoption plan and your level of openness, but you also choose the life you imagine for your baby. From family pets and holiday traditions to values and education, you can choose a family for your baby that fits all of the hopes and dreams you have for your child.
Be Sure You Find the Best Parents
“Okay,” you may be thinking, “but how can I be sure that all of this comes true for my baby?”
The best way to find the adoptive parents you think will be perfect for your baby is to work with an agency like American Adoptions. We believe that every child has a right to grow up in a loving family, and every woman experiencing unplanned pregnancy has a right to choose adoption.
During our 30 years of experience as an adoption agency, we have continually improved our screening process to ensure we are working with the very best couples in the U.S. While every agency has screening standards, we go above and beyond to find hopeful adoptive parents who will provide the best life for your baby.
Every adoptive family we work with is thoroughly screened, financially prepared and has agreed ahead of time to an open adoption. Because of our national scope, we work with more families at once than most agencies, which means more profiles for you to look through. And because of our diverse staff — made up of adoptees, birth parents and adoptive families — we really know what makes a great adoptive couple.
You can work with your dedicated adoption specialist to search for the family you believe will be best for your baby. This way, you’re not “giving your child up” for adoption at all. You’re giving them a loving family.
Get Free Adoption Information
We would love to help you. Whether you’re ready to begin your adoption journey today or you still have questions, let’s talk.
Speak with an adoption specialist now by calling 1-800-ADOPTION, or get free adoption information online.
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