14 and Pregnant: What Do You Do? [You Can Choose Adoption]
Considering Your Teenage Pregnancy Options
If you’re experiencing an unplanned pregnancy at 14 years old and wondering what to do next: You have pregnancy options, starting with adoption. Call 1-800-ADOPTION now for basic information.
- Adoption gives your baby the chance to live an amazing life while allowing you to enjoy your teenage years and finish your education without the burden of parenting.
- We can create an adoption plan designed just for you and what you want for your adoption journey.
- You will get 24/7 support throughout your adoption, as well as after officially placing your baby with an adoptive family.
If you’re thinking, “Please help me — I don’t want to be pregnant at 14,” remember that there is help out there. All you have to do is find it.
By coming to this article, you are one step closer to receiving the support you need. While American Adoptions is an adoption agency, our unplanned pregnancy counselors can provide objective information to help you make the decision that’s best for you — whether or not that's adoption.
Unplanned teenage pregnancy is more common than you may think. If you are pregnant at 14, the first thing you need to do is tell a trusted adult, such as your parents. While you will be the only one who can decide what to do, an adult can play a huge role in helping you get the support you need and following through with your unplanned pregnancy plan.
Your parents are your guardians and supporters; while they may be initially upset about your teenage unplanned pregnancy, they will still love you and will help you make the decision that you can live with, whatever it is. They are often the ones to best support you through the tough times ahead — not the baby’s father or your friends.
If your pregnancy is a result of rape, incest or statutory rape, you should tell a trusted adult or contact the local authorities immediately.
If you are a pregnant 14-year-old, the decision of what to do with your unplanned pregnancy will always be up to you.
However, there are three questions you should ask yourself before making this life-changing decision:
1. Are You Ready to Be a Parent?
One of the first questions a pregnant woman asks herself is, “Am I ready to be a parent?” As a 14-year-old, you aren’t in a position emotionally or financially to raise a child without significant assistance. Parenting is a 24-hour job and for a teenager in middle or high school, the idea of parenting likely feels impossible.
Many teenage mothers look to their parents for support during this time. While your parents would likely be there to help you after your baby is born, it would not be their responsibility to take care of your child for you. It’s not fair to expect your parents to drop everything to take care of their grandchild and for your life to continue as normal; your baby would deserve your full attention as a mother, which means you would need to make certain sacrifices.
Before you decide to raise your child as a pregnant 14-year-old, speak at length with your parents about what kind of support they would offer and what they would expect from you in this kind of journey.
2. Is Abortion an Option for You?
When you’re facing an unplanned teenage pregnancy, you may wonder what a pregnant 14-year-old’s rights are to terminate her pregnancy.
In many states, if you are 14 and pregnant, you would need parental permission to obtain an abortion.
This is because you are still a minor, and your parents have the responsibility to determine what kind of medical care you receive. In many states, these kinds of restrictions on teen abortions include all women under the age of 16 — if not older.
Even though you would require your parents’ permission to obtain an abortion, it could still be an option you consider as a pregnant 14-year-old. If you terminate your pregnancy, you would not have to carry it to term — which would allow you to continue your education and everyday lifestyle without much of an interruption.
However, getting an abortion can result in temporary feelings of grief and loss if you are not 100 percent confident in this choice. It’s important to be fully educated about this unplanned pregnancy option before deciding it is right for you. Consider going to a local family planning clinic (such as Planned Parenthood) to receive objective information.
If you’re thinking, “Please help me — I don’t want to be pregnant at 14,” you should know abortion isn’t your only option, even when parenting is impossible.
Adoption is a decision that gives your child a chance to have an amazing life. But it also benefits you, by keeping you on track to achieve your goals in life without the burden of parenting. There’s even a third benefit: You’d also give an adoptive family the gift of being able to grow their family.
You can get more information on parenting vs abortion vs adoption for your pregnancy at 14 years old by calling 1-800-ADOPTION.
3. Do You Want to Give Your Child the Chance of Living an Amazing Life?
Being pregnant at 14 years old, perhaps you know that parenting isn’t the right path for you but you’re not entirely comfortable with the idea of abortion, either.
In this case, you may consider placing your child for adoption. This would give them a chance at having the life you want for them with a loving and nurturing family.
Choosing adoption is in no way “giving up on” or “giving away” your baby. It’s a brave choice to carry your pregnancy to term, deliver your baby, and place your child with a family who is prepared to give your baby the life he or she deserves. This makes you a hero.
If you’re pregnant at 14, you can’t provide the same opportunities as a mother or father who has a steady job, education and a house of their own — adoption will allow you to give your child that precious gift.
When you choose adoption, you are in charge of your journey every step of the way — no matter how young you are. You get to choose the family you want to adopt your child, as well as the relationship you want to have with them during your pregnancy and after placement.
You will receive free counseling and support throughout your adoption process, and your adoption specialist can help you navigate any complexities like alternative schooling and missing class due to medical appointments.
In most states, you do not need your parents’ permission to place your child for adoption. As the mother of your child, you are the only one who can decide what is best for them.
Other support services we provide for you during your adoption include:
- 24/7 counseling and educational information.
- Adoptive family profiles that fit every personality trait, lifestyle choices, age and other identifiable information that you feel are important for your baby.
- A hospital plan made up of specific needs for your stay during labor and delivery. Your hospital plan will include decisions of who is allowed at the hospital, who you want in the delivery room, how much time you want with your baby and more.
- Mediated visits with the adoptive family to get to know them during the adoption process. Through open adoption, you have the opportunity to build a life-long relationship and share the bond of your adoption journey. Open adoption also allows you to maintain a connection and relationship with your child.
- The potential for financial assistance for pregnancy-related expenses. All medical costs are fully covered and your legal representation is completely free.
- And more.
Jade was 14 when she suddenly faced an unplanned pregnancy. Even though it was difficult, she realized adoption was the best decision for her and her baby.
“In the end what it all came down to is my baby’s future. I felt as if it would be selfish of me to keep her away from the best life she could have. I mean I was given every opportunity to be the best at anything and everything I did. Just because I didn’t take every single one of those opportunities and run with it doesn’t mean that is not what I want for my baby.”
“When I first read Duane and Rosetta’s profile, I knew that they were the ones that could give my baby everything I couldn’t. I am thankful to American Adoptions for everything they’ve done. I am extra thankful for Duane and Rosetta for everything they have done, are doing, and have planned for my baby.”
We know that being pregnant at 14 can be overwhelming, which is why we are here to help.
If you are interested in placing your child for adoption or simply want to learn more about all of your unplanned pregnancy options as a pregnant 14-year-old, please call 1-800-ADOPTION today.
“I am available to answer any questions that arise, particularly from birth moms, as I have been in your shoes and know how you are feeling,” Michelle said. “It was most helpful to me when I had someone to talk to who would just listen to me without making any judgments or conclusions about who I was as a person.”
You can ask Michelle questions about the adoption process online.
You can also call us at 1-800-ADOPTION, or get free information with our online contact form for prospective birth mothers considering adoption here. Adoptive families wanting more information on adopting a child can click here to get more information.
Information available through these links is the sole property of the companies and organizations listed therein. America Adoptions, Inc. provides this information as a courtesy and is in no way responsible for its content or accuracy.